How to be a Boy: Building a Blanket Fort

Step 1: Wait until your mom has spent no less than 3 hours cleaning the house

Step 2: Go to the linen closet and remove everything that looks sheet-like by pulling neatly folded stacks from each shelf onto the floor. Don’t miss great grandma’s white tablecloths.

Step 3: If you’ve pulled down a fitted sheet, wad it back up and shove it on the floor of the linen closet. Fitted sheets are NOT blanket fort building material.

Step 4: Build fort. Stacks of books make great sheet anchors, so feel free to remove all the books from the bookshelves.

Step 5: Play in the fort for 5 minutes to 3 hours. Make sure to end blanket fort play-time by getting into a huge fight with your brothers.

Step 6: Whatever you do, do not clean up the blanket fort.

Step 7: When your mom insists, wad sheets, tablecloths and anything else you’ve used and shove it into the linen closet. Close door as far as it will go. You’re done.

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