Entries by afton

The Jello Project: Peaches and Cream and the Parent Trap

After a one week hiatus, the Jell-o Project is back and better than ever. This week’s Jell-o is Peaches and Cream (the non-alcoholic version) with what I believe is the ultimate Jell-o ingredient: sweetened condensed milk. Sweetened condensed milk is such a brilliant Jell-o compliment. It’s as if Sharon and Susan have finally met each […]

The Miracle of the Reader’s Digest on the Shelf behind my Toilet

On the shelf behind my toilet sits the November 2013 issue of the Reader’s Digest. It’s magic. I used to be a Reader’s Digest subscriber. Every month the newest issue would arrive, spend a day or two downstairs, then go upstairs to the shelf behind the toilet. The Reader’s Digest, with its one or two […]

Every Time You Make Salad in a Jar, a Kitten Dies

Using canning jars for things other than canning is a hot trend. With a little electrical wiring knowledge you can turn canning jars into pendant lights for your farmhouse-style kitchen. In the bathroom your jar can become a soap dispenser. You can paint them and put candles in them and bake little cakes in them […]

How to be a Boy: Clothes Shopping with Mom

When your mom says she needs to buy you new clothes and asks you to go with her, your first response will naturally be a primal one: fight or flight. In an effort to save yourself, you might feel a rise in adrenaline. Maybe a sweat will start to break out as you look for […]

How to be a Boy: Riding Your Bike to School

When you ride your bike to school, you have to have a lock to keep it from getting stolen. So bring a lock with you, and don’t forget the key. Don’t put the key on any kind of key chain, just throw it in your backpack. I’m sure it will be there when you need […]

How to be a Boy: Wrapping a Birthday Present

1. Wake your mother up at 6am and ask her where the wrapping paper is. 2. Measure how much wrapping paper you will need to wrap your gift, then triple that amount. Tear the wrapping paper from the roll. If you don’t tear straight, try tearing another piece of wrapping paper. 3. Barge in on […]

How to be a Boy: Building a Blanket Fort

Step 1: Wait until your mom has spent no less than 3 hours cleaning the house Step 2: Go to the linen closet and remove everything that looks sheet-like by pulling neatly folded stacks from each shelf onto the floor. Don’t miss great grandma’s white tablecloths. Step 3: If you’ve pulled down a fitted sheet, […]

You Get What You Pay For

These days, cut rate content websites are as abundant as cat videos on YouTube. If you need writing done, you can find someone who will do it . . . cheap. For a couple cents a word, you can get content written within a day or two. Think about it. If you’re in a rush to […]